Welcome back to Soft Days Collective, friend.
Come on in. Kick off your shoes. Feel the warm ground beneath your feet. Take a sip of your iced coffee, crack open a window, and listen to the world around you for just a moment.
You are safe to be exactly who you are here.
This little corner of the internet has always been a place for growth, reflection, and gentle reminders that we are all learning as we go. There is no expectation of perfection here. Just a collection of humans trying their best to navigate life with open hearts.
Earlier this week, I asked over on the Soft Days Collective Instagram page what you wanted me to write about next. One response kept floating back to me like a leaf drifting down a river: learning to accept the ebb and flow of life.
What do we do when things change?
How do we move forward when life looks different than we expected?
How do we loosen our grip on the plans we carefully crafted and trust ourselves enough to adapt?
Truthfully, this topic feels like one I needed to hear just as much as anyone reading it.
The first thing that comes to mind is this: Sarah, girl, this applies to you too.
As a recovering perfectionist with a neurospicy, Type A brain, accepting change does not always come naturally to me. I like plans. I like knowing what comes next. I like having a map, a backup map, and probably a color-coded spreadsheet just in case.
When something shifts unexpectedly, especially when emotions are involved, my first instinct is often to find a solution. To fix it. To make it make sense.
But life has a funny way of reminding us that not everything is ours to fix.
One concept that continues to ground me is the Circle of Control. At its heart, it is simple. Some things are within our control and some things are not.
Simple in theory.
Much harder in practice.
At the leadership camp I facilitate each summer, we spend a lot of time talking about the difference between being proactive and being reactive. The Circle of Control helps us recognize where our energy is best spent.
When life throws a curveball, I try to ask myself: What is actually mine to carry here?
Can I control someone else’s choices? No.
Can I control the weather? Definitely not.
Can I control every outcome? Also no.
But I can control how I respond. I can control the kindness I offer myself. I can control the next step I choose to take.
Sometimes that looks like taking a deep breath and reminding myself out loud, “This is outside my circle of control.”
Not because it doesn’t matter.
Not because it isn’t hard.
But because constantly fighting reality only leaves us exhausted.
Life was never meant to be a perfectly sunny day. Sometimes storms roll in. Sometimes plans change. Sometimes the path ahead looks nothing like the one we imagined.
And yet, somehow, we keep moving forward.
Another practice that has helped me learn to trust the ebb and flow is mindfulness.
I know mindfulness can sound like one of those trendy words that gets tossed around everywhere, but when you strip away all the noise, it is really just the practice of being where your feet are.
For me, mindfulness often looks less like sitting cross-legged in silence and more like noticing small moments throughout the day.
The smell of pine trees on a morning walk.
The feeling of lake water on sun-warmed skin.
The sound of rain tapping against the cabin roof.
The first sip of iced coffee on a slow summer morning.
When I am focused on the present moment, I spend less time replaying old stories and less time worrying about futures that have not happened yet.
I am simply here.
And there is something deeply comforting about that.
Mindfulness does not mean pretending everything is okay. It does not mean ignoring challenges or avoiding difficult feelings. It simply means allowing yourself to experience the moment you are in without immediately trying to escape it.
Some days that comes easily.
Other days it feels impossible.
Both are part of the practice.
The final thing that comes to mind is Radical Acceptance.
This is a skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and while the name sounds intense, the idea is actually quite gentle.
Radical Acceptance is the practice of acknowledging reality as it is.
Not as we wish it were.
Not as it used to be.
Not as we hope it will become.
Just as it is.
That does not mean you have to like what is happening.
It does not mean you cannot be disappointed, frustrated, sad, or angry.
It simply means you stop arguing with reality long enough to figure out what comes next.
Lately, my preschool classroom has been teaching me this lesson in the sweetest way. Thanks to one wise grandma, my students have started chanting, “You can’t always get what you want.”
And honestly, they might be onto something.
Life is constantly changing. Doors close. Plans fall through. Opportunities appear in places we never expected.
Sometimes the most courageous thing we can do is accept the chapter we are in and trust that we will find our footing again.
Friend, if there is one thing I hope you take with you today, it is this:
You do not have to have everything figured out.
You do not need to know exactly what comes next.
You do not need to force every piece of your life into place before you are allowed to enjoy it.
You are allowed to be in process.
You are allowed to change.
You are allowed to rest at the scenic overlook before continuing down the trail.
Life is a lot like the shoreline after a storm. The landscape shifts. New things wash ashore. Familiar landmarks look a little different. And yet there is still beauty to be found if we slow down enough to notice it.
The ebb and flow will always be there.
The invitation is not to control the tide.
The invitation is to trust yourself enough to move with it.
Until next time, friend.
Be gentle with yourself and leave a little room for wonder.